Self-worth is complex, yet simple. From Worthiness stems all other qualities – self-respect, self-love, value of self, etc. When you do not find yourself worthy, then you are living in a state of lack of worth and thus your HS will bring you situations and events to help you understand the need for healing in this area. Thus, things will follow will not always work out as you might plan – but they will play out as needed to help you understand the healing you need.
It is not enough to look at Gifts or traits that you possess and then say, I am worthy because of this. Those are values that are viewed by the external world – internally, they are based upon the Ego, and are definitely not what to base your entire self-worth upon.
When we come into the human form, we are an infant – incapable of reasoning, wisdom, or rational thought. We are sensitive and absorb the events around ourselves like sponges. Unlike adults, infants are incapable of looking at situations and applying life experiences to situations and be able to use perspective.
The only perspective as an infant we have is “now”. Everything goes through that filter. Are my needs being met NOW? And when those needs are not met consistently, issues within the psyche thus develop within the infant.
There are many qualities intrinsic to humans – and the vast majority of these qualities have some form of impact from or to self-worth – such as:
Faith Self-Love Spiritual Will Truth Wisdom Power Perseverance Fortitude Joy
There are many qualities, and we each have life experiences that help us discover these qualities, what they mean to us, and how we live (or want to live) those qualities.
Self-worth is complex, yet simple. Yes, that was redundant – but it bears repeating, as many times as necessary. When we find internally that we are Lacking, that plays out in our life in many ways. We will live a life of Lack as well as a life based off disappointment, as we undermine ourselves time and again as we have determined since we are unworthy to experience “good” things in life. Lack may not be socially apparent, as we may have “things” yet are lacking happiness, joy, and other positive emotional states.
Self-worth exists when we are happy with ourselves inside, when we know that we are special and loveable and deserving of all good things in life. So, what does that mean exactly? It means that you can be viewed as “socially acceptable” but can be terribly unhappy and you can even hate yourself.
Conforming with your family views or societal views does not mean that you have self-worth. In some cases, it is actually detrimental to your self-worth. So, the first step is to determine what qualities in life you see as valuable in others and look within to see if you possess them.
Maybe you see people talented in art or music as valuable. What if you are not talented?
Then you are looking in the wrong place. The value is on the intrinsic nature of the individual – not what they produce for “society” to view. The key here is to communicate with your High Self to help you see what qualities you value and see what qualities you possess. It does not matter if they were crushed when you were young – they exist within you and can be regrown and developed.
Honesty, Truthfulness, living a life of integrity, humility, compassion, kindness, personal sense of Will – these are some of the intrinsic qualities that can be developed or broken by one’s life. Do you see any of these developed – or crushed - within yourself?
Again, it is important to embrace the fact that each intrinsic quality inside of you has the possibility of being healed (if crushed) and developed, so you can become the worthwhile person you are capable of being.
When you were a child, do you remember what made you happy? Was it being held and hugged? Or maybe learning to play with a new toy given to you.
Imagine yourself as a toddler – a small child, just learning to walk and get around in this world. Everything is so huge compared to you and yet someone gives you a small toy to play with. You can touch and feel (and taste) that toy and discover the wonder of all the tactile sensations of that toy and this experience takes up your whole attention. Imagine yourself taken away by the sensations of curiosity and wonder as you explore this new object. Experience the type of excitement, happiness, and joy you may have felt during this time.
Breathe that in for a moment – allow yourself to close your eyes and just experience the moment for yourself – just as you may have watched a young child do this, but this time it is you having that experience. Take as long as you want – dig into this experience and feel it with all your being.
Now that you are back, don’t you feel good? Such a simple thing to make you feel good inside, yes?
Now, go back into that moment and imagine that someone bigger than you, someone you recognize as being a part of your life, comes into view. They squat down and look at you sitting on the floor, playing with that toy. Imagine now that they take the toy away from you, throw it onto the floor, and stomp on it – breaking it into tiny pieces which they then throw away, all the while laughing at you.
You don’t feel so good any more, do you? You want to cry and scream at the unfairness of it, yet you don’t have words to express the unfairness. So you do what you can – which is scream and cry. Instead of finding comfort, you are picked up and deposited into your crib or playpen and the destroyed toy is not magically replaced by a new toy.
You don’t feel so good any more, do you?
This is just one instance of how your self-worth is damaged over the years as a small toddler – now look at your life and extrapolate out through your years growing up at similar situations you grew up in. You survived your childhood, yes, but it does not follow that it was a pleasant experience. VERY FEW humans walking around have a balanced self-worth. Even fewer have a positive self-worth. Even fewer still have a great self-worth. Yet, this is our goal, yes? To heal and grow and develop a great self-worth so we can live a life in alignment with our highest and best good, filled with abundance and joy.
You now have a good idea of why you might be experiencing a lack of self-worth, but I know what you are thinking – how can you fix that??
It is both easy and time consuming. You have to put your work into yourself, both the healing part and the developing of your self-worth.
Healing is the hardest part, really, as you have to be willing to look at yourself as you believe yourself to be inside. Maybe some child work exercises can help you mentally dig in deep. Or maybe you put on a guided meditation to dig in deep into your wounds.
Whatever you do, do it daily until the wound is exposed and ready to be worked on. You might be surprised to know it can take some people days of preparation work of an hour daily to actually be ready to dig into self-worth wounds.
Remember - your ego won’t like it and it will fight the work. You survived, so why bother going through this nonsense? That is the challenge – to keep the ego from interfering with your healing work. Many times you will find that the first battle is with the belief that what you experienced (which damaged your self-worth) even really mattered. You may view it as an insignificant event as an adult even while the child inside you is screaming that IT WAS IMPORTANT!
Whatever you do – remember, you are fighting your ego first. Yes, you survived, but you want to do more than just survive now, yes? So first you have to dig into those events you experienced as a child the best as you can remember, acknowledged how you were treated badly – and by whom!! – and then be ready to heal.
Just as you may have to fight your ego to allow you to find value in your experiences, you will have to fight again to do the healing work itself. Healing work is available through a wide variety of modalities. Listen to your intuition, your High Self, your Guides, or even just ask for Beings 100% of the Light to come and help you heal.